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A collage of memories
Photographs and Poems to a Panthiscake
This huge picture frame is in my Bedroom
A POEM FOR THE GRIEVING...
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die...
-Anonymous-
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Before we go any further I often wonder who is going to scratch that head. She loved me to scratch her head. Talk about seventh heaven Pancake made an art of it.
Introduction
This is meant as a frank portrayal of feelings, emotions and thoughts that I experienced after loss of Pancake. The things I noticed about my good little friends and their reaction to our loss of Pancake. This page is meant as a frank and open portrayal of what I had seen and in what I felt.
Things I miss most about Pancake
Wake up duty
She was the one who made it her duty to make sure she woke me up every morning at about seven. Blanche is not such a good alarm clock. She certainly had a way of calling me incessantly in the morning. Once she was on my bed she either came and spent the rest of the time next to my head on my pillow usually sorting out her feathers or with Blanche usually at my feet.
Siesta on Sunday
On Sundays at my mother's place in the afternoons, we usually have a siesta. Pancake would come sleep with me. She would settle in in on my left side on the pillow, look at me decide anything was OK and very quickly go to sleep.
Keeping me company
When I used to sit here on my own and type quotes, or just answer e-mail, she would see me from the bird room and call me and call me incessantly until I gave up stopped what I was doing and fetched her. She would then sit on my knee, settle in, and promptly go to sleep. She went through a phase of just wanting to be alone with me. Never mind her friend Blanche she just wanted to be with me. I really treasure that memory of her coming on own to me, asking to be picked up then sleeping on my knee with me. While I sat here and prepared faxes or price lists. I used to really enjoyed her company.
I'm Still Here .
Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze
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I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!
Author Unknown
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Special things about Pancake
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Privacy & Bathing
Pancake was a very private bird for example she would not bath if there were strangers looking even if they were in the other room. I really respected her for that because I too value my privacy.
Short list
Pancake would only allow about five or six people to go near her or even touch her. On the list were me, my mother, my friend Dr Allan Deane, and a very few friends, rest of you, could go jump as far as she was concerned.
On trips
On my trips with her she would during the day sit on my left shoulder and after some way she would cuddle up against my neck with her head under my ear lobe and sleep.
Is he still there
When she was so ill towards the end she would look at me and see if I was still there, and, I could make out that she was checking to see if I was still there and you could see her say it's OK he is still there. Especially on our many trips to the Doctor.
My last memory of her when she was still alive was on our way to Dr Pringle for last time she was sleeping in the bird taxi too weak to come sleep with me. Every now and again I would look at her and she would look at me as if to say its okay he's still here. When I had heard she died. I wondered if she didn't think we had abandoned her at Dr Pringles' surgery and as a result, gave up the will to live and died, because she thought we had abandoned her.
If I thought for a moment there was a possibility that she might die. I would have given up the whole day to her irrespective of my business commitments and clients needs, that's how much she meant to me, just to sit with her and for her to know I was there for her.
The reason why I say this is that we had lived through pretty grim times together. She had always given me her unspoken loyal support even when things very tough for me. She would of her own accord come to me climb up and sit with me and comfort me with her presence. I never forgot that she had a real knack of knowing when it was the right time to come and sit with me. And I loved her all the more for it. These were the things that made her so special.
The gangs reaction to Pancakes loss
After I told them that Pancake died they sat there in the bird room and not a peep out of them.
When I told them that we were going to fetch Pancake and take her to my mom. I produce the bird taxi and in went each one and said come to daddy and without a murmur or protests they came like lambs one by one normally I have to deal with exuberance when I normally load up the bird taxi.
On the way to Dr Pringles' they were dead quiet in the car normally there is exuberance and joy lots of happy calling and singing and competition for the best spots, my shoulders being a premium.
Once I collected Pancakes body from Dr Pringle surgery, I placed it in the back seat of the car. I then went and bought flowers. I arranged the bunches of flowers around her little box. Once we were on our way, the gang came and sat on me in a spontaneous gesture. It took a little while for it to dawn on me what was going on they sat in no particular position but just arranged themselves all over me in no particular order .
Once we got home they were all very subdued. Once fed and watered they settled in to sleep very quickly. None of the usual requests to come and watch TV or be sociable.
On Saturday morning I got Pancake out of the fridge and unwrapped her little body. As I proceeded to layer Carnation petals between her body and the paper wrapping Coco flew over to me Blanche and Tweeum came over to me. Coco went wild he created a racket and started biting everything including me the scissors the paper the flowers the box the tea towel anything else that was there my mom had to come and remove him by the blunt end and put him out the way. So I could finish my work. Tweeum ran around the floor creating a racket.
A Collection of Pancakes Web Pages
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As Restored |
 | What happened |
 | Various Memories of Tuths |
 | Collection of photo's of Pancake |
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Popeye a special tiel hen. |
 | a dear departed friend |
 | Keiva a dear departed friend |
 | Just this side of heaven...... |
| Post your tributes here for your loved one .. |
Special Request
If you could when you say your prayers please remember little Pancake I would be most grateful. We lived a good life together and she was very Special. If your visit to this web page is a result of a personal loss, please feel free to email me at Pancake's former private email address. I never knew what it meant to grieve until Pancake went to the Rainbow Bridge.Pancake
On the internet there are many excellent sites to assist you during this awful time. One that I highly recommend is http://www.petloss.com. It is a gentle and helpful site. There are some wonderful stories, healing poetry, links, all to help you come to terms with what has happened; to help you remember your little friend and to help you deal with the pain. Remember grief is like a thief in the night and is no respecter of time or place or occasion it can floor you when least expected.
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